To the New Mother

I wonder at what point we become a “seasoned” mother. I’m a mom of two now, with a three-year-old and a seven-month-old. With three years of mothering under my belt, so much still feels new. When we first had our daughter, I thought I would naturally ease into the position of mother because I am a woman, and this was something I had prayed for throughout life. I enjoyed reading the books about having children and about parenting well for God’s glory, but once our first one came, I felt like I needed a “how to” guide on the practical matters- from how to get a baby to sleep to how to drop a pacifier. I told myself for our second baby that I would not drive myself mad this time by tracking every minute of nap time, every ounce of milk consumed, and researching something different on my phone every second of the day. Yet here I find myself with a new baby, new challenges, and new Google searches. So much still feels unknown. 

JI Packer once said, “God made us thinking beings, and he guides our minds as we think things out in His presence.” We may not always know what to do, but we have a heavenly Father we can pray to without ceasing, who says He hears our prayers and has given us his Holy Spirit to guide us. He is with us in pregnancy, in the delivery room, in the newborn fog, and the following postpartum months. He has promised us that His grace is sufficient for each day, and we don’t have to guess at how much oil will be in our cups for tomorrow. We can just keep pouring out because He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. 

Babies are little souls that don’t come with an instruction manual, but we know their Creator, who we have access to through Jesus Christ our Lord. We can’t find true peace from Google Scholar searches or the Taking Cara Babies website, but our peace is found when we trust and obey our heavenly Father and learn to pray with King Jehosophat in 2 Chronicles 20 “I know not what to do but my eyes are on you.” 

To be honest, in the season I am in currently I can’t really remember what John MacArthur and J.C. Ryle have written about raising children. But what has been a great comfort to me in new seasons are the unchanging truths written in biblical hymns that I learned in my childhood. These help get me through the brightest and the dullest days, and I even catch my daughter singing lyrics here and there of words she has picked up on and then piece-mealed together. 

Hymns have a way of redirecting our minds to things above and getting us out of our own heads. When we are anxious, we can remember, “Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer” and, “The Lord is in His holy temple, let all the earth be silent.” When things in the moment seem hard- “When through the deep waters I call you to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow, for I will be with thee and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.” In the pain and confusion of childbirth- “Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well with my soul.” In the hormonal changes postpartum- “When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace.” And when so many things still seem unknown, “Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus, oh for grace to trust him more.”

The origin of the hymn “Trust and Obey” came about during a revival of D.L. Moody’s. A man in a testimonial meeting stood up and said, “I am not quite sure, but I am going to trust, and I am going to obey.” Someone jotted this quote down, along with a little story, and sent it to the hymn writer Rev. JH Sammis. The rich lyrics in here so eloquently summarize what I would wish to write to a new mother:

When we walk with the Lord

In the light of His word,

What a glory He sheds on our way!

While we do His good will,

He abides with us still,

And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:

Trust and obey, for there's no other way

To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear,

Not a sorrow we share,

But our toil He doth richly repay;

Not a grief or a loss,

Not a frown or a cross,

But is blest if we trust and obey.

(Refrain)

But we never can prove

The delights of His love

Until all on the altar we lay;

For the favor He shows,

For the joy He bestows,

Are for them who will trust and obey.

(Refrain)

Then in fellowship sweet

We will sit at His feet,

Or we'll walk by His side in the way;

What He says we will do,

Where He sends we will go;

Never fear, only trust and obey.