Home Is Where the Dross Is

“This is going to be my social summer,” I told a friend at the start of June. Our youngest was down to one nap, friends with school children were now available for play dates, and the splash pads and pools were opening up. But in my efforts to get out of the house more, over time it started to feel like we must leave, that we couldn’t actually stay home anymore. Where can we go today? Library? Park? Grocery store? Anywhere but home!

Sometimes leaving the house for the sake of leaving can be a form of escapism from the duties and sins we do not want to face today. Our flesh loves a good distraction, especially as it pertains to fighting sin. The rest of the world, outside the walls of our homes, can be pretty appealing when everyone begins whining around 9:00 am. It starts to not matter if the kids are fighting because we are about to leave the house anyway. It becomes tempting to neglect the weightier matters of the law and just head to a shop or a drive thru. 

The lie is that if we leave the house, all of our problems will leave too. But the problems still meet me at the door when we arrive back home, as the laundry has to be changed over and lunch is about ten minutes past due according to The Schedule. Now I am stressed, and the kids are tired and hungry. Sinner Haley is still here; they just do not write that on my Starbucks cup.

My character inside the home is a reflection of my soul because I am surrounded by the duties of the day and the pressing needs of others- plenty of good works that I am supposed to be walking in. My coworkers here do not really care what outfit I decided to put on or whether I put on makeup today, but it is rather obvious if I forget to put on Christ. I can be a pretty cheery person on the car ride to the pool if no one is fussing, but if a storm starts brewing, I panic, not knowing how we will now spend our time. I do not want the duty of cleaning up sinful attitudes to be a part of my sanctification today. Some things are easier to ignore in the car. But like the household spider that starts spinning its web on top of the kitchen cabinets, sin tends to make a bigger mess the longer we wait to address it.

Home is where the dross is, the place where messy attitudes and dishes from breakfast, or last night’s supper, do not get cleaned up on their own. It’s their training ground, but it’s mine too. It’s the place where we learn how to put chaos back into order and to glorify God while doing so. It’s where we more clearly see that we are actually just as sinful as our children but with an adult spin. I, too, do not want to eat this for dinner, but life isn’t about satiating our palettes at each meal. I, too, get hot and itchy in the yard, but we cannot control the weather. I, too, get frustrated at baby cries, but God is going to help us be patient. Home is where we are able to see whether our fruits of the spirit are actually growing in tandem, whether we have actually learned to put on gentleness and patience or have been sweeping those under the rug. 

But home is where we keep that good supply of paper towels to clean up those messes, where God’s grace meets us as we practice consistent discipline and instruction with our children away from the distractions of the world so we can more confidently and consistently do this when things go haywire inside TJ Maxx or Grandma's house. Here they learn about repentance and forgiveness in the safe context of the family unit.

Home is where we discover that those new morning mercies still meet us before 5:00 am with a bad sleeper. It’s where we learn that maybe it’s not a waste of time to slow down and hold the baby that doesn’t want to nap, and that the lesson we needed to learn today was not how to lengthen the naps but how to be content in all circumstances. We can’t troubleshoot all of life’s hiccups or conundrums, but we can learn to trust God through the seemingly insignificant parts He is using to sanctify us.

The home is where growth and nourishment take place, where our daily bread is provided and sleep needs are met. It’s where we grow in those small acts of obedience and where true fruit is born in “keeping with repentance.”  It’s where they play out what happened at that birthday party last week and where we play out our theology. They play “church,” and we execute what we learned at church. If I cannot see the blessing of staying home, then I have too small a view of the home just like the world. Home is where the dross is and where God plans to burn it off, to prepare us for the next one.